Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
