apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize