Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
