Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
