ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
