who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
