She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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