I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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