I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
