sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
