I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize