so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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