I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
