So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
