Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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