I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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