But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
