He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
