Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This baby is an asshole
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
