Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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