it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
