i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
