Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
