Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
