His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
