She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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