that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
