I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
