On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
