I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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