You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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