Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Randomize
