Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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