she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
