I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize