Don't you send me to vm
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
