I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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