PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
