Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
