I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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