But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
