And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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