On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So much rum. So many feels.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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