As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
