In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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