I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up under a house in Key West
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