He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
