No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
