hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
True strength comes from lack of pants
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
