I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
