Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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