Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
