awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
