Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
