I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
