5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
