im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Michael Bay diarrhea
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
