she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
