4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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