I wanna passion pit in your ass
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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