whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
