If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A bitchslap is in order.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize