You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
