Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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