i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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